Psychoboy comes from humble beginnings, raised in a middle class family. Living in his parent’s basement and spending their money to buy whatever he wants, he knows what struggle is…the struggle of deciding what to use their credit card on.
He went to some high school, where he learned a bunch of stuff that he’s mostly forgotten and wasn’t really relevant to his adult life anyway. He did meet his best bud, Stickboy, while in school, who is now his totally awesome campaign manager despite having no political experience. Isn’t nepotism great?
Due to his inability to maintain relationships more than a few weeks at a time, Psychoboy is currently single. So ladies, if you’re looking to become a political wife and/or mistress, hit him up!
Psychoboy has never served in politics before. He knows nothing about government and is only vaguely aware there is a Congress. This makes him the perfect candidate for our time.
Rather than having relevant qualifications for office, Psychoboy has something far better…life experience! And no one has more life experience than Psychoboy! Like millions of Americans, he’s struggled to find and maintain employment due to the decline of America as an economic superpower and his inability to perform a task competently for more than a few days in a row.
Psychoboy has held too many occupations to count, but here’s just a small sampling of some of the positions he’s had over the years…
Cashier
Mechanic
Crossing Guard
Security Guard
Delivery Driver
Janitor
Sales Rep
Farm Worker
Musician
Soldier
Shepherd
Porn Star
Priest
Rabbi
MMA Fighter
Spy
Shaolin Monk
Dungeon Master
Man in Black
Vigilante
Good Guy With a Gun
Ninja
Nerf Herder
Killer Clown
Super Ranger (it’s like being a Power Ranger, but without the copyrighted name you can get sued over)
Jedi
Super Saiyan
Dark Lord of the Sith
Soul Reaper
Newspaper Hawker
