Meet Psychoboy!

Psychoboy comes from humble beginnings, raised in a middle class family. Living in his parent’s basement and spending their money to buy whatever he wants, he knows what struggle is…the struggle of deciding what to use their credit card on.

He went to some high school, where he learned a bunch of stuff that he’s mostly forgotten and wasn’t really relevant to his adult life anyway. He did meet his best bud, Stickboy, while in school, who is now his totally awesome campaign manager despite having no political experience. Isn’t nepotism great?

Due to his inability to maintain relationships more than a few weeks at a time, Psychoboy is currently single. So ladies, if you’re looking to become a political wife and/or mistress, hit him up!

Psychoboy has never served in politics before. He knows nothing about government and is only vaguely aware there is a Congress. This makes him the perfect candidate for our time.

Rather than having relevant qualifications for office, Psychoboy has something far better…life experience! And no one has more life experience than Psychoboy! Like millions of Americans, he’s struggled to find and maintain employment due to the decline of America as an economic superpower and his inability to perform a task competently for more than a few days in a row.

Psychoboy has held too many occupations to count, but here’s just a small sampling of some of the positions he’s had over the years…



Crossing Guard

Security Guard

Delivery Driver


Sales Rep

Farm Worker




Porn Star



MMA Fighter


Shaolin Monk

Dungeon Master

Man in Black


Good Guy With a Gun


Nerf Herder

Killer Clown

Super Ranger (it’s like being a Power Ranger, but without the copyrighted name you can get sued over)


Super Saiyan

Dark Lord of the Sith

Soul Reaper

Newspaper Hawker